Grief & Loss
When people think of grief and loss, they often think of death. Death is inevitable, which we learn at a young age, though no one wants to talk about it. One day you are forced to talk about it. Your loved one dies, is diagnosed with a life threatening medical condition, you or someone you love has a miscarriage, is going through a divorce, or you are living through a world wide pandemic. It can be helpful to experience your grief with a trained professional who can be there to witness and help you process your pain.
Here are questions and comments that I often get about grief and loss.
Death
- Will I ever feel like my old self again?
- Am I a horrible person for feeling mixed feelings about the person who died?
- Why can’t I stop thinking about my own death?
- When will others stop telling me to move on? I can’t even grieve right.
Medical Conditions
- I have always treated my body well, why is it failing me now?
- Who is going to be there to raise my children?
- Will my family remember me?
- What did I do to deserve this?
Divorce
- Is anyone ever going to love me again?
- How do I explain this to my children?
- Why didn’t I see these signs beforehand?
- How will I ever move forward from here?
Miscarriage
- I always planned on having children. Why isn’t my body working with me?
- Am I ever going to be a Mother?
- I am sick of hearing, at least you know you can get pregnant. My dreams for the future just were shattered.
- What if I get pregnant and miscarry again?
Lost expectations
- Didn’t I plan my whole life for retirement? Why am I so depressed now?
- I know I have things I should feel grateful for, but I can’t stop feeling this way.
- Though the vaccine is here, it doesn’t erase everything that I lost this past year.
- I can’t shake that the vision I had for my life is not turning out the way I had thought.
Through therapy you can develop skills to:
- Fully embrace the pain of the loss
- Accept all of your feelings without judgment
- Develop a new self-identity based on a life with this loss
- Identify your needs and wants and differentiate that from what others want for you
- Notice and challenge negative self-talk
- Set healthy boundaries with family and friends
- Navigate changes in the relationship with friends and family in your life
- Understand the meaning of the loss
- Develop a lasting network of support
- Balance your personal and professional life